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In the past few years I have spent a lot of time unlearning, growing into the person I am today.

There are life events that have a way of forcing change, the perspective they provide seems to continually keep opening your eyes, widening your mind and changing your heart.

I have to admit, I was never good at change when I was younger. I moved house and school as a child and I gave my parents hell. Not coping with the changes and feeling out of control. As my life became my own I kept things safe, with minimal change. I married my first love and only moved one suburb away from my family home, but now I welcome change like an old friend.

Two years ago my son was attacked by a dog, my life was instantly put on hold. My values evaluated in a similar measure as bringing a child into the world – dramatically.
What seemed so important one day was not even on my radar the next.

After being told my son may never smile again, need plastic surgery on his face and would spend two weeks in hospital fighting an infection from surgery/hospital, coming home felt amazing. However it was heart breaking at the same time. Our lives would never be the same. We had changed. My son, my husband, our other son and myself. As well as many other relationships in our lives. Our world looked and felt different.

I don’t know why but something pulled me to take out my camera, even though I had been told only  days earlier that my son may never smile again, the damage was so deep that they had no idea how the nerves would be affected. I still had this unexplainable urge.

A smile is something as parents we chase from our children we light up at their happiness, it gives us joy, we ask for it even more so when the camera comes out. Not knowing what would come next or how he would heal both physically and mentally I felt a need to document this moment. I had no intention for the images at the time but to have a personal record of this moment, this defining time in our lives.

When I pulled the camera up to my eye and started capture, my eyes opened, I mean really saw my son. I thought I was documenting a moment and I was but more than that I was being in that moment, I was seeing his light shine in. I was accepting our fate. In front of me, and captured in my camera I found so much more than a smile. His face was still too swollen and full of stitches for him to make much physical expression but the vibrance shone through his eyes, his strength and joy.

It made me realise you don’t need your mouth to move to smile. A smile is so much more than that. It is a feeling, emotion and it lights up your eyes, it sends a fluttery feeling into your tummy and warmth into your heart.

Even though my son had over 100 stitches in his face, and could not lift his mouth, even though he could barely open his eye from swelling he could still find and show joy. He lit up my heart like it had never been before and with my camera in hand I began to heal.
I found acceptance and forgiveness. He showed me his strength and the power of being in the moment and finding joy in any circumstance.

I still fill with tears when I see the images. Photographs full of truth, a rawness and honesty.

You cannot avoid the physical pain he was suffering but you also cannot deny his spirit. There will always be heart break for the trauma we suffered and the scars he carries upon his face but there has been so much growth and change that has followed.

It showed me how important family is, how documenting REAL moments is intimately beautiful and endlessly powerful.

I fell in love with photography many years ago because it captures something real and true. It showed me to look deeper, that we don’t need to seek perfection, there is so much more than meets eye and that what is important isn’t perfect, it’s presence, real connection and finding joy.

 

I’ve been meaning to write this blog for weeks, but the words just havent come. For me I write from a feeling, a memory or moment, I hone into that feeling and let the words pour out. I am not a natural writer, I can make art on my camera to show you how I see you, the light you have inside but writing for me takes work and time. That time is now and these images and this story is theirs.

I love that we live in a time and a world where we hold space and love for those we have lost. Babies not ready for this world that move to the next, leaving marks that shall alter lives forever. This session was a beautiful celebration of family, connection and the gift of new life. With a little boy in the sky looking down. Seeing this family grow together, has been a privilege and being able to document memories for them has been an honour. In a just a few weeks a new baby boy will join this family, he will be loved like all the others and celebrated for the rainbow he is.

As we ran, jumped and play on the family farm the sky lit up to remind us of one lost and one found.
I cannot wait to see this beautiful family again to capture the arrival of their 4th child.

 

On a cool but sunny morning I arrived at this beautiful families home, baby Sophie had slept the whole time they got ready and I was greeted by little Jake and led straight to the toys, not a bad way to start a session. As mum finished up getting ready, we chatted and sipped tea.
One of the first things I noticed was the admiration they shared for each other. Each part of this family had a special connection, Jakes eyes for his Dad and Dad for his wife, I could imediately see the admiration he has for her, and Jodie just could not believe she made a little girl.

Our time was busy and fun, two year old boys are so good at both of those. It was also filled with connection, eyes met with ease and familiarity, hands brushed through hair and arms embraced. That new baby nostalgia was in the air.

 

Before all of my sessions I ask my families a few questions. I want to get a feel for you, your family dynamic and what’s important to you. When Jamie wrote to me the 1st thing she put was quality time. This made me so happy and excited to get toghether to do exactly that. I believe in qulaity time, I believe giving quality time is one of the most valuable things we can do. I try to give each of my kids quaity one on one time each week but it’s not always easy inbetween work, school, activities and being a family. So I was so happy to have a family in front of my camera enjoying each others time, giving each other space to be themselves and loving on each other.

It was such a pleasure to watch this family unfold infront of me. We walked, danced, played and snuggled. They were all thrilled to be enjoying one anothers company. It was a beautiful enriching moring as they loved on one another creating and documenting these beautiful memories together.

 

It’s not everyday you become a parent.

There is nothing else in life that shifts you as much as becoming a parent either.
Settling into becoming a family is truly an enriching experience, it provokes you reassess your values, it somehow almost immediately illuminates what matters most to you and can set you on a different path than you were previously wondering in this life.

These two, becoming, have embraced changes with an infectious energy, filled with love. Gently easing there way into parenthood without expectation and taking each day, each moment as it comes.

Spening my morning documenting these early days of this little and of life as they now know it was a beautiful experience, seeing the calm but also the nerves, the way they reassured each other and embraced their beautil boy. Day like this make me ever so grateful for this career and spending my time with nurturing and creative souls.